Like a dream that you can't quite place
by mjwriting
Summary: Time Travel. It is impossible to perfect and always leaves behind a string of terrible consequence. However when Emma gets the chance to be acquainted with a young Regina she can't help but bend time to her will. With every journey back Emma finds herself growing increasingly closer to the broken queen. Potential trigger warnings for briefly implied sexual assault.


More radiant than Emma could have ever imagined was a young Regina, walking through the forest without any trace of the darkness that would consume her in the years to come. With a swagger foreign in the older version's body, Regina ambled over to a bush of berries, stooping low to pick the ripest offerings. As the teenager bent down, Emma felt compelled to walk towards her. Screw the consequences. Standing on a twig at her foot, a crack ricocheted around the arena of trees and alerted the other to the woman out of time. With a gasp, Regina turned around, the berries she had been collecting tumbling to her feet.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." Emma claimed, throwing her hands up in a show of her innocence. Despite this Regina still look terrified, clinging to the cloak that shielded her from the cold winds of autumn, as if it would shield her from the stranger before her as well.

"It's fine." Regina said, evidently tense. Her eyes darted from Emma's face to the clothes she wore. In that moment Emma realized she was still wearing the remnants of her world. Her jeans, the red leather jacket, her trusty beanie… all out of place within the Enchanted Forest. Before she could think of an excuse for her appearance, Regina asked: "Where are you from?"

"Um… a different… realm."

"Which one?" The question caught Emma off-guard and she knew she couldn't evade it. After a painful couple of seconds she settled on…

"Narnia."

"I've never heard of it." Regina said, her voice stronger now, as if she had gained confidence from how Emma had squirmed under questioning.

"That's a shame. It's a very nice place. There's lots of snow and, um, a giant lion." Unable to think of anything else to describe the fictional land, Emma trailed off and allowed Regina to consider her statement.

"Sounds dangerous." Regina replied, a smirk starting to appear on her lips.

"It is. I'm Emma, it's nice to meet you."

"Regina."

* * *

Emma was fully aware of the problem of time travel, after upsetting Regina with it not even a year ago. However the concept of becoming more acquainted with a young Regina was far more compelling than the argument against going back and mere days after her first venture, she could be found in the Enchanted Forest once again. This time in a ragged dress she had salvaged.

Her previous adventure was an unexpected one, the result of tinkering with objects in Regina's vault she had been warned against even looking at. Though unplanned, she had been dropped off seconds away from the Regina of the past. Now though she was wandering through a small village without a clue of where to go. Apparently her confusion was evident, because after almost an hour of wandering around in a circle, a playful voice parted a single word in her direction.

"Lost?" It asked, resulting in Emma turning around to face-

"Regina?"

"Hi Emma." The girl smiled, and Emma smiled back. "You look different. Did something happen to your lovely red waistcoat?"

"I thought this would be more fitting for your realm." Emma replied, pulling at the patchwork garment.

"It is. But I liked your old outfit, it suited you well."

* * *

Somehow she refrained from going back for an entire month. In that time, the Regina she knew had started sending strange glances her way and had taken to wearing more red.

"That's my colour." Emma smirked one day as the two drank hot chocolate together at Granny's. Their partnership earning gossiping glances and the occasional snarky comment from Granny that Regina was more than capable of responding to with the most cutting of tongue.

"I wasn't aware you owned the colour red. Do you want me to pay loyalties for daring to own a red blazer?"

"I don't mind sharing. Especially when it suits you so well."

* * *

Like her future counterpart, the next time Emma saw a young Regina, the woman had enhanced her wardrobe with red. Splashes of the colour could be found in her simple dress and the flowers that hung in her hair. Jarringly, it could also be found around her eyes. A deep, painful red that pulled at Emma's heart as soon as she saw the patches. Before any comforting words could be parted with, Regina let out a howl and flung herself into Emma's arms. The blonde immediately responded by hugging the other and running a hand through her long hair, hoping the action would be soothing.

"She killed him." Regina whimpered into her chest and immediately Emma knew what had happened since she had been there last.

"Daniel?" And the name saw another sob come from the young girl. Emma didn't need to be told anything else, fully aware of the story of the queen and her stable boy.

"I couldn't save him." Regina whimpered a few minutes later, her head now resting on Emma's shoulders.

"You can't save everyone."

"But I could have saved him! I tried, I put magic on his body to preserve him and tried to give him a new heart and everything failed!" As her cries grew stronger, Emma tightened her hold around her. In her old timeline no one had been there for the fragile girl, she would be damned if she let that happen again.

* * *

Though Regina was beautiful in her wedding dress, it was a horrible sight to see her hand in hand with Leopold. Her smile was forced, eyes empty of all that joy she had once displayed in them. A stiffness ran through her body at a great contrast to the delighted king who laughed in happiness as the two were bound for life. As they kissed, Regina became more rigid, the puckering of her lips practically non-existent.

There was nothing Emma wanted to do more than whisk Regina away and save her from an unwanted marriage. It wasn't until the ball that she could take the young woman's hand to lead her to a moment of sanctuary.

"I don't know if I can do this." Regina mumbled, defeat heavy in her voice. Today though there were no tears, she had parted with them all after telling Emma the stories of Rumplestiltskin and Cora, who Emma had found an even greater dislike for.

Whenever Snow had told Emma about the marriage between Regina and Leopold, she had made it sound as innocent as a corrupted bond could ever be. The two kept to themselves, Regina alone at parties whilst her husband danced the night away. Apparently they had even had separate bedrooms. But tonight the way Leopold had placed his hands on Regina's waist, how he had dragged her away from young men's congratulations, made Emma uneasy.

"You could run away?" Emma proposed before she could stop herself, looking to the other with great sincerity. Regina parted with a harsh laugh at this suggestion.

"I can't. I'm trapped here. You think I'd be safe if I ran? The king would send people after me before sunset."

"You deserve a better life than this. You deserve happiness."

"I don't deserve anything." Regina snapped without warning, looking into Emma's eyes with madness in her own. "Now if you excuse me, I need to go back to my wedding."

It was in that moment that Emma realized Regina was broken.

* * *

"Emma we need to talk." Regina said without greeting as soon as she saw Emma slouched in her chair at the Sherriff's office. David jumped up, as if he needed to protect his daughter, but Regina ignored his presence.

"One second I'm just doing my paperwork," Emma mumbled, forcing herself to not look at Regina.

"Now."

"I have received five complaints from Grumpy about-"

"If you don't come now the problems of dwarfs will be the last of your worries." Regina snarled, placing her hands on the desk and leaning closer to Emma. Emma looked from the piece of paper and into Regina's eyes, her anger surprisingly mellow within a state of exhaustion.

"There's no need to get mad, Regina." David warned, placing what he meant to be a soothing hand on her arm.

"I'm not mad. I want answers." Regina shot back immediately and suddenly Emma was nervous. Were the consequences of her actions in the past finally coming back to haunt her? Like a guilty schoolchild she stood from her seat and followed Regina out into a corridor, bracing herself for the onslaught to come.

"Regina I can explain…"

"Explain what? How I can no longer recall past events? Please Emma, explain that." Regina sighed, frustration evident. Frozen in her place, Emma could only look at Regina with wide eyes and increasing guilt.

"What? You can't remember anything?"

"Not really. I mean, it's hazy. I can remember Daniel dying but after that… I don't know. It's like someone's put a curse on me. I'm sorry for snapping in there I'm just, I don't know, I need your help." Regina's vexation almost compelled Emma to come clean, but she was glutton to her increasing closeness with the other realms Regina, so could only say.

"We'll figure it out. But for now go and get some sleep. You look exhausted."

* * *

"Did you know mom has bad dreams?" Henry whispered over dinner at Granny's.

"How would I possibly know that?" Emma asked, taking a sip from her hot chocolate.

"She, like, cries out and I hear her thrashing around. I asked her about them once and she said I was imagining things but I wasn't!"

"When was the last time she had one?"

"Last night."

* * *

With Henry's words in mind, Emma focused on her trip back with all her might, pleased to discover she had been able to arrive at the Enchanted Forest as night had firmly taken hold. At one with the shadows she moved through the forest with ease, increasingly familiar with the route she needed to travel. As flattened paths trailed into cobblestone through the village, the odd drinker stumbled from the inns and greeted her with tipsy grins and slurred utterings of her name. Before Regina had been crowned the two would often escape into the local taverns, she knew quite a few of the regulars now.

"Hey Thomas, I would come in but I can't. Sorry! I need to see Regina. Have a drink on me though." The man was more than happy to accept this suggestion and crashed back through the wooden door to the sounds of drunken cheers. Emma watched his retreating back for a moment, before turning on heel and rushing towards the castle that loomed overhead. She was disappointed, but not shocked to discover armed guards at the entrance. Their appearance threw her off for a moment, but recovery came quick. She knew what to do. She had done this many times before.

Creeping around the perimeter, she found the small gap in the brickwork and placed her foot in it. From there she climbed higher, the guards who only stood beside the gates mere specks by the time her hands wrapped around the metal frame of the balcony to Regina's room. Grunting, Emma used the last of her energy to push herself up and over the barrier, falling to the ground with a bang. Her landing and subsequent groans weren't enough to pull a restless Regina from troubled slumber.

"Regina," Emma whispered, standing up and walking to the bed. "Regina."

Her hisses couldn't stir Regina, who continued to let out strained cries for help. Emma could do nothing to pull her from whatever horrors were causing such turmoil. She tried placing a soft hand on Regina's arm to shake her out of her misery and raised her voice to an extent she felt wouldn't expose her presence to the guards she knew stood outside of Regina's bedroom every night.

It wasn't until Regina's head smacked against the bed foundations with a crack that she awoke with a cry.

"Ssh, I've got you, I've got you." Emma whispered, sitting on the bed and hugging Regina, instinctively placing a hand over where Regina had hurt herself. She shot a glance to the door in case the cries of the queen had spurred the guards into action. Instead she saw a small purple rippling suspended in the air beside the handle and it became clear Regina had done some sort of magic to stop any unwanted visitors.

"Emma?"

"Are you okay?"

"My head hurts." Regina mumbled.

"Lay down, don't make any sudden movements." Emma said, supporting Regina as she slowly fell back into her sleeping position. As she looked up to the ceiling, Emma found herself looking down on the other. Her eyes swept over Regina's own, tear filled and empty. Then there was the uncharacteristic hollowness of her cheeks and the new scar that had been slashed into her upper lip. Not registering her movements, Emma found her hand reaching for Regina's face, softly running a finger across the cut. Regina winced. "What happened?"

"I told him to stop," Regina revealed, her eyes not leaving whatever she was intently staring at above. "And he pushed me onto the bed, I hit my face on the way down." There was no life left in her voice, her husband extinguishing the final spark left within the young woman. "And he…"

She couldn't continue but the actions of Leopold needed no words. Though sick to her stomach at the revelation, Emma forced herself to speak, knowing Regina needed her.

"Regina I'm so sorry, this is all my fault."

"No it's not. I should have listened to you and ran when I had the chance."

* * *

Anger coursed through Emma's veins as she stormed towards her mother. Snow's smile dropped as soon as she saw the scowl on her daughter's face and her eyes cautiously darted to her curled up fists that were oh so desperately looking to impact against a deserving target.

"What's wrong?" She asked with great concern.

"What's wrong is the way your father treated Regina," Emma spat, not caring that the eyes of not only her mother, but of David and Hook, were on her.

"What?" Snow gasped, "My father loved Regina, he-"

"Don't lie to me! I know what he did to her." Emma's raised voice did nothing to erase the confusion that had settled on Snow and her companions. The slack expression upon Snow's face resulted in a breakthrough. "You don't know do you?" Emma's cryptic question did nothing to help matters. Numbly moving away from her mother, she knew what to do. She ran for Regina's vault, ignoring the cries of her parents behind her.

* * *

Frantically her hands searched for the amalgamation of magic she was looking for, the pieces of instrument that Emma knew nothing about, but had used on an increasingly daily basis. Nothing but dust greeted her, even in the place where she could usually find the contraption. With defeat she hit the shelves with a yell, turning to find…

"Regina?"

"Looking for this?" Regina asked, holding up the device Emma was guilty of searching for.

"How did you…?"

"Figure it out? Well when I woke up and suddenly remembered the saviour attending my wedding I realized something was wrong. My research led me to this. I always wondered what it did."

"You didn't know?"

"It was my mothers. I never touched it. How did you discover what it did?"

"I, er, was um… exploring."

"You were messing about with my belongings when I told you not to."

"Regina I'm so sorry. I couldn't help myself." Emma mumbled, taking a step towards Regina.

"You saw things I never told anyone!" Regina yelled, her strained voice making Emma's heart ache. "Do you think I wanted people to know about what Leopold did? Are you happy that you saw me like that?"

"No I-"

"Don't lie to me Emma!" Regina's anger was laced with something else, and it pained Emma to hear how the words of the woman she had come to love were tinged with great betrayal.

"Regina-"

"We heard yelling." A bashful voice called from the vault entrance. Both Emma and Regina looked up to find David, Snow and Hook awkwardly glancing down upon them.

"Oh great. You brought an audience along too." Regina snarled, turning her back on the group.

"We can come back later?" Hook suggested, his eyes searching Emma for questions but she revealed no answers.

"Please do." The blonde said, waiting until the room was empty before trying to speak to the woman again. "Regina listen to me. I didn't mean to go back, the first time I just knocked the thing and got sent to the past. I don't know how I activated it, but you know what? I'm glad I did."

"You what?"

"I'm glad I went back. Regina you were so alone, you needed someone." And then Regina broke down. The unexpected turn of events unfathomable to Emma, who watched the sobbing woman with surprise. Then something kicked in within her and she ran to Regina and performed the increasingly familiar act of taking her in her arms. This time though, Regina joined in, her arms looping around Emma's waist and pulling her closer. Emma didn't even notice this contact until she tried to pull away, finding herself stuck in embrace with the brunette. A fate she was happy to be resigned to.

"Please don't go back again." Regina finally said, her words almost lost in Emma's chest.

"If you don't want me to go back, I won't."

* * *

And she didn't.

Curiosity about Regina's past life slowly ceased, for now she was fully caught up in a whirlwind of reality alongside the woman. Days after the revelation had been awkward, held glances seeing both women trying to find excuses for the contact or looking to the floor pathetically. Then Emma found herself asking Regina to join the assembled Charming's and Henry at family meals and Regina spent hours digging out family albums to show Emma by a crackling fire, apple cider close at hand, flicking through the pictures and revealing the stories caught on tape for eternity.

"Henry had a loose tooth and he pulled it out by wrapping string around it and slamming a door like he had seen in one of his comics. As you can tell he is incredibly proud about that." Regina said with a laugh, running a hand over the picture of a bloody faced, grinning Henry who looked up at the camera with a small tooth between his fingers. "And this was his first day of school."

"Is that an apple I see?"

"Oh yes. A small gift for Snow White." Regina said, the smile playing on her lips became a fully formed grin when Emma couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"I shouldn't laugh," Emma explained in-between giggles, "But you had inside jokes with yourself. That is strangely cute for someone who was so evil." Regina's response to being labelled as cute was to scrunch up her face in an endearing fashion.

"What's so funny moms?" Henry asked over the hysterics of his parents as he stomped his way downstairs, eyes finding the album and causing his face to turn bright red. "Mom why?" He weakly asked, resulting in more laughter from both women. "Can we go? Please? Granddad said if we don't get to the stables on time I can't practice my horse riding!"

"Let me just show Emma that picture of when you had your first paddling pool, you know the one where you-"

"No!" Henry yelled, desperately wanting to avoid another embarrassing memory being aired. His shame providing more amusement for both women, who after taking pleasure in his begs, shoved the album aside and stood to leave.

* * *

None of them were sure when they became a family. A family of two moms and their son, where affection was shared between women who had never truly experienced it before that moment. It was sudden and unexpected, but it was real. And as evidenced from how Regina and Emma walked down the street hand in hand, too nervous to look at each other due to the contact, it was innocent and pure.

They had found each other.


End file.
